+ A reminder that The Simple Living Summit is happening this week. It starts today! There will be a bunch of discussions and videos about simple living available. The organizer, Wuyen, and I talk about a bunch of things related to Essentialism as a lifestyle, including Essentialism 101 and Monthly Experiments! If you’re interested, sign up here… it’s free to participate. My session is on Thursday, February 16, 2017. <3

Last week, I posted about 5 Ways to Share Essentialism with Others. Another aspect of enjoying this lifestyle is knowing how to best work through an organizing project with friends and family in your life. These ideas might sound familiar as they are similar to the 5 Steps to a Successful Habit Shift. The tactics are simple and they work!

HOW TO APPROACH AN ORGANIZING PROJECT WITH FAMILY
1. Make sure your family is interested! It can be painful to work on a decluttering or organizing project with somebody who isn’t on board. Here are some ways to talk about essentialism and letting go in general with family. Share your goal and start a conversation about it. If you meet too much resistance, work on it solo for now.

2. Consult Essentialism 101, focusing on shared Priorities in Step 2. Get on the same page right away. Discuss your joint vision for the space. Take the time to write out what functions you all want from the space. What’s the goal and what do you want it to look like in the end? (Extra credit: also have discussions about what behavior might be contributing to the clutter or mess. Can you agree on shifting some habits together to prevent future clutter creep?)
Let’s take a common example of clearing out the garage. Share your goals and some adjectives of what you’d like the end product to look like. Clean? Bright? Energizing? What functions are priorities: room to park the car, an area for outdoors gear, some storage for tools and home supplies?

(inspirational garages via Martha Stewart, of course)

3. Time box. Set aside an afternoon or a few hours. Make sure everyone is fed and hydrated. These projects get much harder when someone becomes hangry or tired. Agree on a chunk of time, block it off on the calendar, and stick to the clock. If you don’t finish, you can set aside another time block for later. If you’re having so much fun ;) and want to continue, agree to take a break and check in with each other every 30 minutes or so. That said, try to move through items quickly. If you notice yourselves becoming indecisive, utilize a MAYBE pile so you can keep up the momentum.

4. Start small. It is very common to take on a large organizing project with no concept of how long it may take. You might end the afternoon with a bed covered in clothing and no place to sleep ;) This process usually gets uglier before it gets better so bite off a small piece, finish it to completion, and repeat if you have the time. Choose one section or one category and work through the 5 steps of Essentialism 101.
Also, start with the easy stuff. There might be items that are obviously of no use to anybody anymore. Simple! Or there are bulky items that take up more room than they're worth. Don’t start with memory boxes from childhood or items that often cause conflict.
For the garage example, maybe you start with a storage shelf in the back. You brainstorm about what you want to store there in the future, take everything off, decide what’s working and what’s not, and then restore the area. Or maybe you start with one category: sports equipment. You discuss your joint vision for your relationship to sports stuff, then gather all of the equipment from the home, decide what’s working and what’s not, and restore the area!

5. Respect your differences. Try to work separately but together. In the garage, maybe you go through a box of your college papers while your partner sorts through tools, asking for help when you could use a nudge to help let go. A lot of times, stuff becomes clutter because only one person is attached. If the whole family loves something, it tends to be on display. If nobody loves something, it's easy to let go!
We all have different attachments. Try to understand why the project might be a struggle for each of you. Kindly question what should stay but don’t push it. Instead of playing the enemy, be a compassionate observer.
In the end, remember to focus on why you’re doing this and your shared vision. My partner is a tad more sentimental than I am but I love living with him so his stuff gets to stay ;)

Decluttering with family can be tricky but if you follow these tactics, you'll have a better chance of success with fewer disagreements. You may even find a cheerleader!

+ And Happy Valentines Day! <3 I felt pretty lucky to have two cute valentines this year!

++ theESSENTIALISTS now has a Pinterest page and an Instagram account. Take a peek. xo

+ Something a little crazy happened a few months ago. I was asked to give an interview for an online conference on simplicity. Awkward, shy me in a video interview?!? Yikes. Over Thanksgiving weekend, I got to video chat about Essentialism and our lifestyle with Wuyen Hsu, the organizer. He was enthusiastic and lovely and it went pretty well. I may say "um" about twenty times... I may imply that our child used to eat non-human food ;) Even though there are things I would change, it was a really good experience. I’m so grateful to him for including me and taking me out of my comfort zone.

The Simple Living Summit is coming up next week! It’s free to participate. There will be a bunch of discussions and videos available about simple living. I’m really excited to see Greg McKeown’s talk. He actually wrote a book on Essentialism! So go sign up here if you’re interested in the conference or any of the talks. (Be warned you may get a bunch of emails from the summit but you can unsubscribe if it's too much.) My session is on Thursday, February 16, 2017. <3

One of the topics I frequently get asked about and one that Wuyen and I chat about is practicing Essentialism with Others. There are two issues to discuss here. The first is getting people on board with the lifestyle and concept of "less is more". The second is how to best work through an organizing project with family or friends (which I’ll dive into next week).

So let’s say you were feeling overwhelmed with stuff and life in general and you started reading about decluttering or essentialism or minimalism. Maybe you saw the Minimalism documentary on Netflix! Anyway, you got excited about making a life change and you’re now feeling great as you’ve been letting go of the excess. But you live with people or you’re moving in with someone or you have a loved one who could also really benefit. What should you do?

5 WAYS TO SHARE ESSENTIALISM:
1. The easiest way to get rid of stuff is to start with someone else’s. Hah! This is what we all want. Our stuff is important and should stay so our partner’s stuff is really the problem. In fact, strangers even ask me how to make their wife/husband/child get rid of X!! The answer is: you can’t. It’s not up to us to change somebody else’s lifestyle. They have to want to and find their own WHY. Respect lifestyle differences, as you would like yours to be respected, and be compassionate about other people’s journeys.

2. You can, however, lead by example! Do the work yourself and let others notice the shift. Despite the fact that I have a blog for this very purpose, even I’m not great at promoting living with less. But somehow most people notice our lifestyle. Our friends share their decluttering victories with us or their value shifts around gifting or shopping. Essentialism is contagious!

3. Communicate the benefits. Share the joys of having more time to play, a healthier lifestyle, a cleaner home, and bigger savings. For example, it's great to not stress about people coming over because it's so easy to keep the home tidy. And one of the main reasons why I’m now able to work part-time (and have more time with Peanut), is that Essentialism has saved us that much money. We spend our money in line with our priorities so we can make a little less while living a little more.

4. Ask for support. A good way to get people on board with any change is to ask them to help you. If you have a weight loss goal or an exercise goal, you might ask a loved one to make a few adjustments to help keep you on track. “Please don’t keep ice cream around” or “please make sure I go for a run first”. The same can be true for essentializing. Maybe request that a designated area or room stay uncluttered. Agree on a clutter-free bedroom or that toys stay in the kids' room. Or maybe you change shopping dates into hiking dates or decluttering dates. Sexy ;)

5. Does it really matter? Some people might not be on board with these changes. Decide if the conflict is worth it. Are you trying to influence somebody you live with or somebody you see a few times a year? If it’s a less intimate or less frequent interaction, maybe the payoff isn't worth the headache. My mother-in-law doesn’t need to be a practicing essentialist. We try to communicate our lifestyle and values with her but we’re probably never going to agree on everything. And that's fine.

Now, if you share a space or a life with someone, focus on what you do have in common instead of what you don’t. Focus on your shared values and not on the specific clutter. Having differences is okay but try to find and start from common ground. I'll elaborate on this more in next week's post on how to best work through an organizing project with others!

++ Ooh, also, I’ve started flirting with social media for the blog a bit. theESSENTIALISTS now has a Pinterest page (what?) and an Instagram account (totes!). Take a look, follow along, share, become friends. I’d love to connect with you more, especially in a visual way! <3 <3 <3